You may remember that I don't have a lot of luck when it comes to the sacrament of confession. On this past Saturday, after mass I figured I could sneak in without too much trouble. I asked the priest outside of church if he had the time. To be honest Father seems like he may not be in the best of health, not quite sure what is wrong but he just doesn't look well. So when he smiled and answered me "yes just go wait inside the church and I'll be there in a minute." I obediently walked into the building and knelt down to examine my conscience.
After a couple of minutes I felt Fred tapping me on the shoulder. "Pssst!" What are you doing? he asked me. I told him I was waiting for father so I could go to confession. "Oh." and Fred disappeared back outside. Another minute later and Fred was tapping me again. "What???" I asked. "Do you realize Father is waiting for you outside- he's sitting on the wall out there???" I was surprised but told Fred "Look he told me to wait for him in here, so I'm waiting." Fred left again annoyed.
After another minute I started thinking about Fathers health and didn't want to make him walk too far unnecessarily. So I second guessed myself and decided Fred must be right ( because he is ALWAYS right isn't he???) And so I cautiously walked outside and approached father. "Father, did you mean I should come out here for confession?" The response "NO, I told you to wait inside, please just give me a minute!"
(Cue sinking feeling)
I felt like a total jerk.
Now I found myself slinking back into the pew while I waited and wondering if I should just make a break for it right then. Too late he had already opened the door. "Its a good thing I believe its really Jesus forgiving me" I said to myself. And then proceeded to go through all the steps of a good confession. When I got to the end Father told me I made a good confession and told me I should pray for patience. Of course- I didn't confess impatience ( at least not this time) so I think we all know where he got that idea. It was all I could do to not blurt out:
"forget the impatience father I'm about to go kill my husband."
But I didn't. I just said "Thank you" and walked away mortified- again. But I guess that's sort of the point isn't it? I just always seem to get there through a back door.