Pirates of Penzance (or Penance?)

First off WELCOME to my new subscribers! I see I have a few new followers who have actually identified themselves for the blog list. Glad to have you here! For all the rest of you little trolls ( there is about a 4 to 1 ratio of anonymous viewers verse declared viewers) out there I may not know your names but I am grateful for the hits, and happy to have you listen in on my rantings thoughts!  

This evening my totally talented friends put on a play The Pirates of Penzance Jr. So we all went to see it at the Mount. As we were getting ready, Fred said to me "Hon, why don't I stay home and watch the 3 little girls while you go out and actually see the play?" 

"Whats that supposed to mean"  I asked wondering what he was REALLY up to.

"Well, the three little girls might make it hard for you to watch the play and I know you've been looking forward to it. Thats all."

"OUR DARLING CHILDREN???? whatever do you mean husband of mine?"

"YES, Our  kids. The 4, 2, and 1 year old"

"FRED-FRED-FRED-(chuckling under my breath)- we're two minutes down the road, what could possibly happen that we couldn't handle tonight???"

"Elle, you must have amnesia cause we've done this kind of thing before and it never goes well for you...."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"O.K. Oh boy. Let me just say the baby will never sit through a 2 hour show- Sarah might not make it either."

"BAH! The kids will be great! Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"

And then I heard his reluctant 'ooookkkkkaaaayyyyy' and off we went.

 Into the car a dozen of us piled to see our friends perform. We arrived in a timely fashion (I hate to be late). Bought our tickets before they SOLD OUT- (and they did moments later)-phew- (and fair warning if you plan on attending tomorrows performance at 7 pm sharp!) We walked in to the darkened theater and had an entire row of seats just for our family.Sweet. We slid into place and said hellos. All was going exactly as planned.  

"See!"

" Its PERFECT!"

" TOLD YA!" I thought to myself snickering.

And just as I was getting ready to stick out my tongue-there was a strange sound-

 "pssssttt!!!"

"PPPPPSSSSTTTT!!!!"

Looking around the darkened theater I found the voice coming from Fred. 

"What?"

And then he pointed. To Sarah. Actually to Sarah's rump.

He started to stand. He was mumbling something about "change...diapers....van...." I stood quickly despite the fact that I was holding Sophia who had suddenly turned into circus contortionist. And then I heard the fateful words leave my mouth...

"No, I'll go" 

Fred's brow wrinkled. He said,"I don't mind" 

Which was true but also not really fair so I said "No, no, it'll just take a minute..." 

And he gave me that skeptical look that told me he knew He was right and I was wrong. (He also looked like he was about to stick out his tongue, incidentally.)

Next  I entered that weird Mom reality where children reign and parents are at the mercy of their whims in the public forum. The first clue I would not be viewing the play was getting to the actual doors of the building where I heard a woman on a cell phone saying " They are about the lift the curtain and you won't be allowed in if you don't get here in the next 2 minutes!" I stopped her and said " Do you mean if I go to the car and change the baby , I will NOT be allowed back in?" to which she replied, "do you want to be shot with arrows?"

Hmmmm. what a curious response.

Walking half a mile across the parking lot with Sarah and Sophia was work. Sarah fell twice, for no reason. Well maybe it had something to do with me saying "COME ON COME ON COME ON!"  while trying to jog with the baby on my hip, dragging her sagging rear behind me-or she could just be clumsy. Anyway, we'll never really know, will we.

I couldn't find the right diaper size when I reached the car. I did however find a diaper 2 sizes too small. 

There were also no wipes. But, there was an unopened water bottle and a few paper towels and I know how to improvise. So, we trudged back to the theater. 

The play had already begun. It was simply not possible to sneak in. We had 3rd row seats. OK well, we'll just have to wait in the wings girls and see the show from here. And then Sophia heard singing and decided she could sing too.

SIGH.

So another mom and I spent a few hours chasing 1 and 2 year olds in the lobby. Every few minutes I would sneak in to hear a song or see a dance and it was essentially torturous to watch a show this way, especially a show where I knew all the performers and had built up to it for half a year. After hearing for weeks about the preparations  and the fabulous costumes, and the singing, and the choreography I had to see it in spurts and then run furiously from the theater so as not to distract the show by the little imp Sophie.

 At intermission Fred and my whole family came out and remarked how terrific it was going inside. 

Gee, thanks for the update. I can't believe Fred's always right.

After intermission Fred took Sarah and once again offered to stay in the lobby so I could see the show. But seriously how could I possibly catch up on the story line half way through?  It just wasn't meant to be. Sophie and I chased each other around the lobby for a while more.And then it was over. 

I did hear 2 or 3 songs in part and they were terrific. The actors looked marvelous and sounded even better.

Essentially I got robbed of a show tonight. 

But at least I was robbed  by my favorite group of pirates.
Nice work guys- Yo, ho, ho!