Sunday, August 14, 2011

That Time Again

Yup, you guessed's time for another ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE post!!! But this one has a twist. My dear friend Paige always makes snide comments about Zombie posts and laughs them off as she shrugs her head in nonchalance, as if to say Zombie-Schmombie. I have tried to warn her countless times of the dangers posed by The Zombie Apocalypse but she refuses  to listen. Or at least , so I thought.

This past week she was visiting England. Yes, England- for the whole tumultuous week. She said she was 'giving a paper' at Oxford. Initially I believed her, but as the week went on and the news got increasingly worse of rioting and feral children I began to suspect  my 'dear friend' of purposefully gathering information on rioting for her own study of The Zombie Apocalypse. Honestly when you look at the images from the riots, they could basically be super-imposed over the images generated for Zombie Apocalypse. There is a striking similarity, at least to my mind.

  Seriously, were you able to pick out the zombie picture above quickly or easily? I didn't think so. I do think the rioters were faster moving, and certainly more organized with their technology than any Zombies would be capable of.  England -it turns out,would be the best place to prepare ( or test hypothesis' if you're that type). If  you can outrun rioters, you'd likely fair better with Zombies. Obviously  Paige has been studying this much more seriously than I ever suspected. I have so many questions now.Did she take refuge in ASDA, which is the UK version of Wal-Mart? Did she utilize Hummers? How quickly does she think it is likely to spread? ( Alas- I hope she is not infected and bringing that back to the states!)  I hope she is not planning on stealing any of my scholarly work on the topic. I cannot believe she wouldn't have trusted me with this information. How could I have been so terribly mistaken about this friendship all along? What is the world coming to???

The big tip-off came for me midweek when I got a post from her saying "No worries- no rioting here!" yeah- sure. Then she tried to distract me by asking when we could go to the orchard to pick. I should have asked her if she was planning on picking BLACKBERRY'S! I may have to encrypt future posts so as not to jeopardize international safety. 


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