The following is an actual accounting of a phone call I made this morning:
Good Morning, thank you for calling Verizon, may I help you?
Hi, I am having trouble with my phone line for the last few days.
Can I verify your name and address?
Sure go ahead.BLAH BLAH BLAH.
OK.What seems to be the problem today?
I am having trouble recieving calls. The phone rings once and then cuts off the caller before I can answer it.
OH,OK. Thank you Ma'am. I am sorry you are having trouble with your phone and internet.
I'm not having trouble with my internet-just my phone.
Oh, your internet is working?
allright ma'am.Do you have a call back number where we can reach you?
That depends on if I am able to get to you by the first ring.
Because if you call me the phone will ring once and then cut you off unless I can make it there by the first ring.
OH OK. Ma'am, do you have caller ID?
OK I see.Do you have a cell phone I can reach you at?
No. only a land line.
OK. Well I'll tell you what, let me try the line right now while you're on it.
Would you mind Ma'am if I put you on hold while I try your line- so I can see if it happens to me?
You'll get a busy signal.
Well let me just try, can I put you on hold?
(cue brief musical interlude)
I'm getting a busy signal.
Thats because I am on the line with you.
Do you have an email address?
OK thats Blankityblankity @ blankity.com
No. Its .net.
excuse me Ma'am?
Its dot NET not dot COM. Its actually your company's email.
OK. How about a cell phone?
No I already told you I have no cell phone.
OH thats right.Can I send you an email about our services?
Would you like it to be forwarded to your cell as a text message?
silence now on my end.
OH RIGHT You don't have a cell phone.
Well, I'll have a repair man come out tomorrow morning.
I hang up. sigh deeply. walk into the next room. And....the phone rings....ONCE.