The Stink Bug Apocalypse

If you don’t know what I am talking about in the title of this post, consider yourself lucky, very lucky-for now. The past few years here in E-burg the stink bug plague has been picking up in force. This past year it was definitely epic proportions. What is amazing is that there is not MORE news on these diabolical invaders. It seems perhaps one of their tactics is to not just emit a foul smelling odor, but to infect the homes they inhabit with a sense of shame as well.

I can almost hear the 12 step group forming:
“Hello, my name is Susan and I have stink bugs….”

"Hi Susan, welcome…what’s that on your shoulder?"

These infernal creatures know no bounds. They will get into any and every nook and cranny in your house and outside as well. They are just plain G-R-O-S-S. They purportedly were sent here from Asia accidentally. Something about this story is utterly suspicious. A creature that has caused this much disgust and repulsion appears to me to be some sort of military tactic.

“Colonel what’s your next plan to over throw the U.S.?”

“I was thinking sir; maybe we could give them ….the heebie geebies.”

Brilliant.

I know most of us are out dutifully buying that non-toxic pesticide to rid ourselves and our homes of these noxious pests, but we also know it doesn’t really work. We just feel better doing something, instead of nothing until we hear that some miracle biochemist has come up with a fool proof plan that will eradicate them from the planet. I have tried my hand at a few concoctions so far, sadly none with great promise- yet.

The fact that it is warming up outside doesn’t give me great solace either. Just because they will leave my dwelling for a few months to return in ever greater number and kind next year is not much of a consolation.