Monday, April 11, 2011

Veils




Yesterday began the the beginning of Passiontide for Catholics. For the next two weeks many churches will cover their statues and crucifixes until Easter! I love long standing traditions like this one. Some accounts tell that it was put in place in order for the many illiterate Catholics to 'know' Lenten days were soon coming to an end. Others speak of deeper meanings still:


 "It probably derives from a custom, noted in Germany from the ninth century, of extending a large cloth before the altar from the beginning of Lent. 






This cloth, called the "Hungertuch" (hunger cloth), hid the altar entirely from the faithful during Lent and was not removed until during the reading of the Passion on Holy Wednesday at the words "the veil of the temple was rent in two." 





Neither stained windows or stations of the cross are ever veiled. But some churches go so far as to remove the statues completely. 

My Mother used to tell us when that when she was a girl she remembers her mother covering all the statues in the house during the 3 hours agony on Good Friday and sitting quietly with her brothers. I was so moved by those stories I have always encouraged my own children to do the same ( we have never mastered the sitting quietly piece so instead we pray the rosary and stations and the little ones color in saint coloring books and string rosary beads. ) They all really enjoy doing so. Time seems to stand  blessedly still for  a few short hours. 

My personal favorite of all the holy week services is Tenebrae and is sadly not a local custom. All the candles and lights are extinguished from the church on Spy Wednesday or Maundy Thursday, and the congregation bangs on the pews to show the utter chaos the ensues as Judas betrays Our Blessed Lord. Absolutely chilling. What a rich tradition. 



Sunday, April 10, 2011

A Little ( Off ) Track

The boys had their first track meet of the Spring season. All seven are on the same team this year! Their team uniforms haven't arrived yet so they don't look quite so official in these pictures, but I am hoping you'll visit again when they have arrived. Thomas and Michael had such fun their first time competing. While I am not thinking we have any amazing runners in our brood, they have always enjoyed challenging themselves and making progress on personal bests. Their coach always emphasizes the fun of the sport and team spirit. Here are a few shots from today.





I was very happy to actually 'see' the boys run today as last year I didn't make it to any meets as Sophia was still nursing and too little to really go anywhere for 4 hours at a time, especially with another 2 and 3 year old. Fred would call me from the meets and tell me when the boys were about to begin and how they placed, but it was difficult to not be there in person.

So today I happily had charge of the three little ladies as the boys were carted off to their different events by their father. They were pretty good except for a brief few minutes of hell, compliments of Mary.


( Here's the off track part)



Just before Thomas began his 400 meter race, Mary began her ascent to the top of the bleachers. This is no big deal to me. She is 4 and can handle stairs. I however was holding Sophie  for my fourth hour straight. Sophia had predetermined today was my day to stand for something. I wish she had merely wanted me to take a political stand, or ideological stand, no such luck. She just wanted me to STAND, literally holding her all day. If I even tried to sit down, she would let out a blood curdling wail and force me off my tush once again to save my poor eardrums from any damage. Sarah was ( 2 hours past her nap time) attached to my right leg in such a fashion that it would take surgical removal in order to extract her. Mary  meanwhile had been working on disobedience all afternoon and was finally mastering it as she climbed up the bleachers despite persistent pleas from her Mother not to.


Finally after ignoring me for the millionth time, I called up to her to at least be careful as she tucked herself neatly in the uppermost corner. Don't worry,I was mindful to use my Reassuring Mommy Voice (RMV).

Whats that you say?

You've never heard of the Reassuring Mommy Voice?

That's  the Mommy voice you use in open spaces when you are  incredibly frustrated but cannot force the public at large into listening to you deteriorate into a downward spiral  of  anger and lunacy merely because your 4 year old KNOWS you are in public and is pushing your buttons and holding you hostage by using this public audience to her advantage so she can behave like a brat and a half.

  ( *gasp for air* , yes that WAS  meant to be one sentence)

You'll be able to recognize the R.M.V.  when you hear Mommies all over saying things in a pitch 2 octaves above normal sounding more like Snow White then a human like:


 "Honey, please stop waving the restaurant steak knife 2 inches from the baby's face!"  ( whispering something under her breath) and then letting out a pretty little chuckle punctuating it with kisses and hugs while the child gets a dazed and  puzzled expression on his/her face as if new words have just been introduced into their vocabulary by accident.

 So now the trouble became, do I watch Thomas age 7, in his first race in front of me, the 2 little girls clinging to me, or the darling 4 year old behind me? The whiplash began to set in rather quickly. The gun went off  Thomas began the first bend and then Mary...

Disappeared!


Vanished!
Poof!

Harry Houdini would have been proud. She obviously  had timed her escape carefully on my behalf.


Now, I leapt to my feet mumbling under my breath that I was going to miss Thomas and doing  my best to keep my face from looking contorted. I began descending the bleachers holding Sophie and dragging Sarah Quasimodo style down the steep flight of aluminum, (and boy was there a bell I was looking to ring!) .


 I began calling out in the same R.M.V.  "Oh Mary , Mary Joan, where are you  little darling?" and under my breath I continued to mutter !@#$%^&*&, the response:

 NOTHING.

 I called some more a little louder. "Mary, Mary Dear!"

 NOTHING AGAIN. I was finally at the base of the bleachers and knew I would not be here to see Thomas complete the race. (And NO I was not worried someone had nabbed her I always tell my children kidnappers look for GOOD little children!)  When I finally cleared  the field and began making my way towards the bathrooms to retrace the path we walked in on, I saw a wisp of a red dress peeking out from under the seats. Yes, she had climbed under the bleachers and was hiding from me very effectively and very purposely. I called her over with my finger. She wouldn't come. I climbed under the bleachers with Sarah and Sophie and retrieved her. (She was fine but lets just say her eardrums probably now hurt a little.)

 Thankfully Thomas has a wonderful father and older brothers who cheered him all the way to the finish line. I would show you what he looked like at that moment, but this was my view:



I did manage to sneak in one of him during long jump a while later ( thank you Lord!):

And lastly one of the car ride home, the real reason we sign our kids up for track is so they will sleep better ! Here 8 out of 9!





Friday, April 8, 2011

Knock, Knock



One of the strangest parts of parenting is trying to teach children a little bit about humor. As far as I know only higher beings can appreciate humor. That would mean humans, angels, devils, and God- though I don't think demons can enjoy humor, any more then they can enjoy, lets say- meatloaf.Hell is without pleasure. Wow, I have actually have never made that connection before. One more reason to try for heaven, I'd absolutely hate to be without meatloaf for an eternity. Or chocolate pudding for that matter. Talk about torture.







In our house, only one of our offspring have been naturally funny (John-Paul) he picks up subtle cues in language, reads funny stories, and comments on life in a light and humorous sort of way. NOT the others. Fred and I find this utterly painful. For years we were subject to Andrew and Peter trying to make up a joke  and failing. We just couldn't seem to transmit the humor gene to our children in a meaningful way. As teenagers it leveled out a bit and now they 'get' most jokes but still can't deliver one very well.


We know when humor should at least begin to kick in, it just never does. It should start with the knock, knock joke and grow from their- right? Somewhere between 2 and 3 years of age a child knows enough language to attempt a knock, knock joke. They can repeat the words, and wait for the response, then deliver the punch line on time. This should leave everyone in the room laughing and give them the general idea of joke telling and humor. Not  around here. Case in point Sarah Anne.


Sarah is 2 and a half. She speaks quite well and quite often.In fact she never shuts up. Morning, noon, and night she jibber jabbers. She is normal in every discernible way. She loves dresses and dollies with the best of them,is right on target for her age group in height and weight, and pretty much status quo as far as we can tell. Tonight I heard Fred trying to teach her a knock, knock joke. Lets listen in to how it went, shall we?


Fred: OK Sarah go ahead and give it a try!

Sarah ( giggling): "Knock, Knock."

Fred: "Who's There?"

Sarah :Come in!

Fred : "No-No-No- Its not come in- it's Sarah!"

Sarah: "No Its NOT! I'm SARAH!"

Fred: (sigh- frustrated) "No... It's supposed to be Sarah."

Sarah : "Dad, YOU'RE NOT SARAH! I'M SARAH!!!"

Fred: "No Sarah, you're supposed to say 'Sarah's there'."

Sarah: "No,I'm not there Dad. I'm right heeeerrreeee!"

Fred: Forget it.Time for bed.

( commence the wailing and gnashing of teeth )

Frankly, I don't know why he even bothers. I'll leave you with a few favorites we could never get the kids to  chuckle over. 

Knock, Knock! 
Who's there? 
Interrupting cow! 
Interrupt- 
Moo!!


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Venice.
Venice who?
Venice this door gonna open?



Knock, Knock!funny jokes - animated gif shepherd
Who's there?
Delores.
Delores who?
Delores my shepherd.



( and last but not least)




Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better knock-knock joke than this.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Who Runs With You?



Tonight Fred took me out for a few blissful moments to get a pedicure! First one of the season. I am hoping to have many more. Afterwards we stopped for a dessert and coffee at Applebees. ( Small helpful side note for all spelling challenged folks out there: As a kid when I would write the word dessert I wondered if I spelled it correctly or just referenced the hot sand. My sister Nancy gave me the great tip that since  everyone wants two desserts, the word has an extra 's' to stand in the place of the extra sweet. I have never forgotten since!)








Anyhow, when we got home we went for our nightly run. Only it was too late to run on the treadmills ( did I mention I hate treadmills?) so Fred joined me on the indoor track. We ran together. When we got about a mile into it I began to give him a mental tour of where I was. First I noted I was in the Sahara Desert  as we pass a huge machine that blows ridiculously hot air out on you for about 2 seconds on the track (note the one 's'  in desert. See, I told you I know the difference). I always want to quit at this point. So I told Freddy, "Okay, I'm going to finish this lap and then I'll walk" and Fred mumbled "OK" and we kept going. When we got a little bit further I told him I was currently talking with our friend Dan. Fred answered "you are?" and I said "Yup, can't you hear him encouraging me and telling me I'm doing fine?" and after a minute he did hear Dan too and we both ran a little further. The next lap I found my new friend Steve running along side me. He started telling me the benefits of running, especially for my heart and lungs. He told me to remember how much it would be worth it to put the time in now. Fred found this funny, that I would mentally talk to people who inspire me or give me strength but he wanted me to keep telling him 'where I was at'  so I did. Wouldn't you know Karen showed her face next! Just when I was really discouraged and thinking I couldn't make it one step further a big 'sure you can smile' came along.


I could hardly believe when I rounded the next bend to see Elizabeth and Christine and Paul and Marijanna and Mary Anne and Surretha. Wow! They all came out  here to keep me going?What wonderful friends. Fred cannot believe what an enormous amount of support I have. No wonder I don't like the treadmill. No one could possibly fit in that tiny room upstairs!  As we began our last lap Fred admitted to me he runs with someone else too. He wanted me to guess who it was. Fred's running partner is his Pepere. He died a few short years ago and has been missed a good deal- but not when Fred runs. When Fred runs, he's right there beside him for a few wonderful minutes, coaching him, believing in him, telling him to go faster.

We left the field house smiling Fred slinging his arm across my shoulder. "No wonder you like to run in here" he remarked. I laughed and told him in my serious voice I was thinking of soon quitting. When he asked why I  told him it was a good place, but it is always so crowded!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

More Mother Goose Analysis

Three Blind Mice


Three blind mice, three blind mice, ( How on earth did they get blinded? What a curious thought. Not just one but three of them, simultaneously blind? Are they related? )


See how they run, see how they run,







They all ran after the farmer's wife, ( they must have been genetically altered. They KNOW who the Farmer's wife is? Perhaps this really is  a case for Sculley and Mulder. and who could blame them for running after her, after being blinded and forced to spend hours on a tread mill! )



Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, ( I think we need to call in PETA here folks I wonder if the tails actually help with balance as in some other animals? Maybe the farmers wife was conspiring against them Norman Bates style. )


Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice?(Thankfully, No!)