Wednesday, February 5, 2014


I am hating all this snow. Just like the rest of you. And while I am *supposed* to be more used to being stuck at home, and snow days given that I am a SAHM and home-schooler, I'm way low on the tolerance level these days. Not having co-op classes, or ballet, or even a small reason to sneak out from these walls without facing the life threatening ICE that takes over the roads, like the  slow moving blob in the 70's movie I vaguely recall with a shudder from my youth, is hideous.

My measly level of tolerance might be in part attributable to my new low carb diet. I needed to lose weight. Like really NEEDED to. And I never kid myself into thinking I don't know how I gained it. I ate too much really good food. I don't even regret it, if I'm totally honest. Last year was tough, so its easy enough to say it was the grief, but I also spent oodles of those 'tough parts' in New York, where all the food is wonderful and fresh, and gloriously available, all the time. So, I carpe'd the heck out of that diem.

But it was time to work out and diet again so I began with the new year. And then a funny thing happened. My scale would not move. Not an ounce. I won't tell you the words entering my brain, they just weren't pretty. Clearly I had to change tactics and here is where the low carb hell began.

What I can say to all you low carb enthusiasts is that it  "Yes- it works!" Ok? Is that enough? Cause that's about all you're gonna get out of me.The weight is coming off, and pretty quickly too. But this is TORTURE. No wonder it works, its just terrible. And the more I read about it, the more upset I become. Apparently this is actually good for you! It comes with all kinds of benefits for your heart, and prevents cancer, lowers cholesterol and blood pressure- but its AWFUL!

If you have other options- take them now. TRUST ME.

I am sick of protein. I am sick of it. I love veggies and salads, but enough is enough. The light has gone out of my life I tell you! No pasta, no bread (well this was easy since there basically is no decent bread outside of NY) , no sugar, no potatoes- no fun. Life is just not worth living without some decent carbs in it. And to add insult to injury my kids still expect to eat a real dinner each night and don't care that I am lusting after like a castaway stranded at sea without water.

 I was telling my sister this recently. (The one who never has to watch her weight, and eats the worst diet on the planet, with no repercussions- cruel fate to be born into the same family as this odious soul.) She responded  "But won't you gain it all back if you quit once the weight is off?" And I was honest and said "YES-HAPPILY!" but thought, No, I really won't eat that much pasta/cake/sugar/fill-in-the-carb-blank-here again, I've learned a little bit from this horrible stint. Like how NEVER to go back to a low carb diet again.

So if you are wondering what I have been up to these days, try to imagine going on your second month with no sugar, no carbs, no JOY in your life, and to it add snow storms after snow storm. But now multiply your few pairs of boots, and bulky jackets, gloves, and hats, and scarves by twelve. Next try teaching pre-algebra among other things to none other than Matthew, that sweet-docile-eager-to-learn ( NOT!) child.  And just for real fun I've been trying to catch Mike and Tom up on the multiplication tables by listening to these drill songs from Hades. And Sarah is learning to read too when she isn't practicing plies with Mary and Sophie while watching the Barbie Nutcracker for the hundredth time in a week. ( Thanks for that one Ang!)

Overall, I'd characterize myself as somewhere between cranky and maniacal.

The chickens are doing well though.
So there's that.

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